What is Success? When asked in a session with mothers, some responses were as follows: continuous struggle, happiness and satisfaction of my family especially my husband, acquisition of materials like a nice car, beautiful house and a six-digit salary for my son. It is really difficult to describe success, not because it has a constantly changing criteria, but because the definition of success is different for different people. I had to add that there is no two plus two formula for success either and it is not served as a cooked meal!

Success is a feeling, not a tangible possession and therefore it should be cultivated rather than purchased. Second parameter is to see if it is lasting or temporary. If we set these parameters for analysis of success, we would be able to reflect upon our daily acts. For example, if we spend our time, energy and resources in cultivating our family then its impact would be lasting. It would not benefit us only in this world, but it has its trickle-down effect on the life here after. And if we replace presents with our presence it would be much better.

The capitalist society always distracts us, somehow, we observe success being associated to happiness and fulfilment which does make sense. But excellent consumers are in high demand and hold higher and more respectable position in our society. Buying power is the criteria of success as per our society.

On the other hand, according to our belief a person’s success is measured by his relations with others, by his cultivation of good deeds. Now this creates a complete contrast and confuses us.

Keeping all these problems in view I, Humaira Salman, came up with a framework the parents could follow to guide their children while keeping themselves on track too. It goes as:

1. Revisit your perspective of success
2. Minimize distractions and build your connection with Allah
3. Initiate healthy discussions with friends and family.
4. Pray – for yourself, your family and for the Ummah!

Happy parenting!
-Humaira Salman